I told him the Jays were a desperate bunch, which is cheddar cheese to a puppy dog in devil-speak. [url=http://www.baratasnmd.com/adidas-gazelle-baratas.html]Adidas Gazelle Rebajas[/url] . I gave him my hard sell. Cmon, buddy. Cmon, Sweet Lu. Our All Star-shortstop Jose Reyes, finally healthy, litera

I told him the Jays were a desperate bunch, which is cheddar cheese to a puppy dog in devil-speak. Adidas Gazelle Rebajas . I gave him my hard sell. Cmon, buddy. Cmon, Sweet Lu. Our All Star-shortstop Jose Reyes, finally healthy, literally leads off the season by taking his first at bat, popping out, then proceeding to walk off the field and on to the disabled list. Maybe hes out for two weeks, maybe four months, maybe hes taking up painting. The team, left with a defence only Abbott and Costello could love, is even more desperate than when it was just known for jettisoning its best young talent for knuckleballers pushing 40 - he stopped me right there. He smiled deep and wide, his horns dewy with anticipation. He was ready to make a deal.Fine, I said. I will bypass my desires for fame or fortune or a game of wall ball with Lloyd Moseby and put my deal making skills to work for our boys in royal blue. So, fellow fan, you are welcome. Allow me to outline the exact details of how this season is going to go down (as hashed out between me and Mr. Three Prong, Son of Perdition).(Disclaimer: if you are planning to use this remarkably accurate information for gambling, I urge you to keep investing that extra money into lotto scratchers, lest we have a Back To The Future situation on our hands. APRIL (14-13 record, .519)The Jays whimper out of the gate, getting crushed on Opening Day, then lose 7 of 10, doing a bang-on impersonation of the mediocre team we thought they were. Thats when the cauldron bubbles and the thick smoke rolls in and the creepy carnival comes to town. What happens specifically? Maybe the entire Red Sox roster contracts syphilis. Maybe Derek Jeter becomes a clubhouse cancer in his final diva-tirade-filled season. Maybe Camden Yards becomes Marlo Stanfield turf. Maybe Tampa Bay management decides the empty cavern they play in would be better monetized by jai alai tournaments. Listen, I dont ask El Diablo how he gets stuff done, I just sit back and enjoy the results which Im assured come with no consequences. MAY (31-26, .544)Little known fact about devil-dealing: May is Buy One, Get One Free Month! Thats across the board, whether youre looking for life extension or to unravel the happiness of a sworn enemy. Why not do both?Truly, Beelzebub has little to do with the Blue Jay surge of May. The team plays a whopping 18 games at home, and with the city still suffering from an endless winter, the Rogers Centre roof is only opened once all month, a paralyzing condition visiting teams cannot physically handle (the technical term is "depression"). (Sidenote: I apologize for not asking The Crimson Sausage, Enemy Of Christ to improve the weather. The Cable Box on Blue Jay Way is the Bikram Yoga studio of stadiums.*) (*Bikram yoga is also known as hot yoga.**) (**Hot yoga is a thing you do when you are a 22-year-old girl or a thing you do when you are trying to impress a 22-year-old girl).JUNE (48-36, .571)Until mid-June, the league hadnt noticed the Jays ascension to the ranks of the privileged, largely because after twenty years spent ignoring someone, it is perfectly understandable that you might mistakenly walk past them in the hall and fail to notice the shotgun they are holding. But the Jays had now arrived, and their demands were going to be met, even if Barb in accounting didnt know their goddamn name. Josh Thole was gonna make sure you remember.We gotta give props to The Author Of All Sin, because he works the impossible this month. Jose Reyes is back in the lineup in time for his birthday (June 11) and his bobblehead day (June 8 for those fair weather fans planning to attend). To think, how many nasty critics said meaningful baseball would never be played in Toronto again in July?JULY (62-48, .564)With just a paltry nine home games on tap, our Blue Man Group must do their damage on the road, visiting Tampa Bay, New York and Boston. In a month-long celebration of Canada Day, our national baseball representatives do just that, proving Canadians to be fearless and capable. (Flipside: After witnessing the condition of our departing players hotel rooms, it is clear we Canucks may lack some respect for the environment. I believe the players call it, "doing it Harper-style").The All-Star break falls in July, an annual tradition typically partaken by Jose Bautista and a middle reliever nobody knew was on the team. 2014 proves to be no different despite being a dozen games over .500 at the break. Respect will have to be earned. FYI, did you wanna know who wins this years All-Star game, giving their respective League home field advantage in the World Series? Answer: NOBODY. Nobody [expletive] wins with a rule that stupid.AUGUST (79-57, .581)On August 11, Colby Rasmus turns 28. That same day, Melky Cabrera turns 30. The Prince Of Darkness promises me these achievements will be met and hes been totally standup so far.Playing every division rival at home this month, The Descendants of Alfredo Griffin enjoy their greatest month this century, forcing Vegas to recognize them as a team and set World Series odds. They are given 60-1 chances, though in metric it works out to a more sensible 18-1.(For those of you uncomfortable with how fashioned this season is by Oh Wicked One, Im not saying you have to worship the Father Of All Lies, Founder Of Murder. Im just saying, if youre a ball fan, you should probably send him a card. Maybe bath salts. Nothing fancy).SEPTEMBER (93-69, .574)A peculiar month of scheduling down the home stretch. Sensibly, the Jays visit every division rivals park. Oddly, they play the Chicago Cubs for an unknown reason my sources tell me may have involved money and bad judgement.2014 ends in a dog fight -- a climax of tension and emotion and games that are still a little too long -- all in the service of the Jays holding on for their first playoff appearance ever (in the lives of the children whose aging fathers drag them to the games). We did it! Were number 4 or 5!And there you have it: 93 wins. 1 wild card spot. 0 logical discrepancies. Is it getting hot in here?Gallays Poll #5Lets say we dont know what we know. With how many wins doth the Blue Jays finish?A) <70 -- I am familiar with the team. The win total will be commensurate with the talent level.B) 70-81 -- I dont pay much attention to the baseballs but have read a few headlines.C) 82-89 -- I rarely hear about the Jays anymore. Is Kelly Gruber still with the team?D) 90+ -- I dont understand how baseball works. Adidas NMD R1 España . Langer appeared to be in trouble when his second shot on the par-5 18th ended up in the rough short of the green. He hit a brilliant pitch to 5 feet and made the putt after Slumans birdie attempt rolled just wide. Adidas Continental 80 Baratas . According to the Globe and Mail, a decision between the NHL and the Players Association should come within the six months. "I can tell you, (a decision) shouldnt take all that long," NHL deputy commissioner Bill Daly told the Globe and Mail. http://www.baratasnmd.com/ . Viewers in the Canadiens region can watch the game on TSN Canadiens at 7:30pm et/4:30pm pt. The game can also be heard on TSN Radio Montreal 690. The Calgary Flames will see if they can take their recent hot streak on the road when they shoot for a sixth consecutive win Monday night in Montreal.SOUTHAMPTON, Bermuda -- Masters champion Adam Scott broke the course record at Port Royal with a 7-under 64 to win the PGA Grand Slam of Golf by two shots over U.S. Open champion Justin Rose on Wednesday. Trailing by four shots with 10 holes to play, Scott pulled ahead of his good friend for the first time with a 6-iron that settled inches from the cup on the par-5 17th for a tap-in eagle. Rose pulled his approach and had to settle for par. "Obviously, Im thrilled to come out on top," Scott said. "Fun -- but a trying couple of days here, really, especially today. Standing on the 11th tee, didnt look like a score like that was going to be possible. But I played very well and managed to slowly claw away at Justin." Rose, who opened with a 67, had a 69 in the 36-hole exhibition for the four major champions of the year. Scott finished at 8-under 134 in his first trip to Bermuda. He won a pink jacket to go along with the green jacket he won at Augusta. A 6-iron was also the club Scott used on the second playoff hole at Augusta National when he defeated Angel Cabrera -- but this one came from a new set. Scott replaced his irons for the Presidents Cup two weeks ago. "So this ones got some good stuff in it, too," he said. U.S. PGA champion Jason Dufner, who starrted two shots behind, fell off the pace quickly and was never a serious threat. Adidas Ultra Boost Rebajas. He closed with a 70 to finish alone in third, five shots behind. Padraig Harrington, a three-time major winner, shot 71 to finish eight behind. As the defending champion, Harrington was first alternate to replace British Open champion Phil Mickelson, who chose not to play. Rose had a two-shot lead going into the final day and ran off four birdies to double the lead. Scott stayed in range with three birdies, and then the Australian played mistake-free in tough conditions on the back nine to rally for the win. Scott made birdie on No. 13, and then holed a 20-foot birdie on the 15th after Roses attempt from 30 feet narrowly missed. "I started with a two-shot lead and somebody had to shoot well to beat me," Rose said. "When youre in that position you want to close it out. But when somebody finishes it out like that, you have to tip your hat and say you were beaten rather than losing. He was 4-under the last six, so thats a strong finish." For setting the course record at Port Royal -- Lucas Glover had a 65 in 2009 -- the premier of Bermuda offered Scott an honorary membership at the course. "Do I get to keep it if someone beats it next year?" Scott replied. ' ' '